Coach Leonie


The Hidden Obsession That’s Dominating Your Life (And How to Change It)

Oimages-4ver the weekend, I went to a health, beauty and yoga event. After two hours of inspiration, dietary information and energizing mat work, I came away with a simple truth: Our beauty shines when we are truly ourselves.

I was reminded of a time, years ago, when my ten-year-old was going to a school interview and I advised her to just be herself. My wise daughter responded with, “Who else would I be?”

Right on, girl!

Yet we constantly think our true self isn’t good enough. We compare, we judge and we always come up short.

After we give ourselves a mental flogging, we prop ourselves up and carefully craft an image for ourselves mimicking others who we presume have it all. If we could only be like those people, we too would have it all.

Ah, to be perfect… We’re obsessed with it.

As a recovering perfectionist myself, I’ve learned that attaining perfection is an illusion (like writing the perfect version of this article!). There’s no pot of gold at the end of the perfection rainbow. The treasures we do possess are our authenticity, love and light – right here, right now.

Nevertheless, you and I still get lost in our automatic negative thoughts and we allow them to dictate our actions.

One of my clients desperately wants a romantic relationship. He hasn’t been out on a date in many years because he’s sure when he asks a lady out, the answer will be ‘no.’ And should he get that ‘no,’ he will see it as evidence that he really is what his inner critic says he is: unattractive, immature, unsuccessful and, ultimately, unlovable.

So he doesn’t ask women out. It’s too big of a risk. He waits for ‘someday’ when his finances have improved and his waistline has slimmed. Until then, he shrinks back into himself, getting smaller over time, his light becoming increasingly dimmer.

We yearn to break free from self-imposed constraints and be loved for who we really are. But, like my client, we’re too afraid to reveal our true selves.

Rather, we deceive ourselves into believing that someday when we are flawless, we’ll take action. Meanwhile, we tolerate unfulfilling jobs, subsist in unhappy relationships (or go without them), and allow people to mistreat us.

In truth, we permit our not-good-enough story to disguise the fact that WE HAVE A CHOICE RIGHT NOW.

Choose to end the perfection game and be refreshingly, beautifully real.

Re-presence yourself to WHO YOU ARE and have been since birth.

Stop hiding and really be with people. That’s where the magic happens.

Shine your light and share your love. This radiance – your spirit, your essence, your energy – is what attracts others to you, and you to them.

Notice your confidence growing. It is the accomplishment of overcoming fear that creates empowerment.

Feel your aliveness expanding.

Witness your own beauty.

Your luminescence invites others to let their light shine. Imagine what a world filled with authentic, sparkling people radiating love would be like…

I CHALLENGE YOU to be WHO YOU ARE with people.

I CHALLENGE YOU to call up your courage, notice you feel afraid, and act anyway.

I CHALLENGE YOU to acknowledge your own unique beauty.


My client has accepted this challenge.

Do you?


How does your desire for perfection impact your thoughts and actions? Please share in the comment box below.

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6 Responses to The Hidden Obsession That’s Dominating Your Life (And How to Change It)

  1. Jimmy November 29, 2016 at 7:00 am #

    Amazing how positively you impact others lives by helping us to see a better path. You are an inspiration and powerful teacher. Love reading your articles.


  2. Scott November 29, 2016 at 4:46 pm #

    Fantastic! Thank you for this wonderful and inspiring reminder.

    • Leonie de Picciotto November 29, 2016 at 9:53 pm #

      I’m so glad it connected with you, Scott. Thanks!

  3. Carole J. Wilson November 29, 2016 at 8:59 pm #

    I don’t strive for perfection. I don’t know what that even is! My only wish is to have more happy moments in my life without having to think about creating them.